Neurobiology And Body Language

Neuro-linguistic Behavioral And Preferential Differences Between The Two Sexes.


               Men, haven't you found yourself absolutely clueless about when she picks up incidents from 10 years ago in a fight which you just don't remember? Isn't that so unfair? well, not so much.
Women, haven't you asked yourself about why do these boys fight so much? Or why is your man so aggressive at workplace? Well here's the answer to it:
  • Women have a larger Hippocampus than that of males. Hippocampus is the memory center of the brain.
  • And the part of the brain that grows faster in males is the Amygdala which is associated with emotions such as those of fear, anger and aggression. 


               Now, before we get into the behavioral attributes we need to know a little about how the human brain works irrespective of whether it is of a male or female. Here we're going to take a look at: 

The Three Brain System ( The Three Functional Layers Of The Brain) founded by Dr. Paul MacLean, MD.


  • The Paleocortex: This is the bottom most and the ancient most part of the brain also commonly referred to as the Reptile Brain.This part of our brain has wiring same to that of lizards or other ancient creatures. The Reptile brain is in-charge of survival and reproduction. It helps us carry out all the regular chores of our lives, e.g., sensing change in the body temperature and causing you to sweat or shiver, regulation of hormones in the body and so on.


  • The Limbic System: This part of the brain sits on top of our Reptile brain. This is the emotional part of our brain and is also our mammalian specialty. The Limbic System has to do with emotions such as fear, anxiety, arousal, etc.

  • The Neocortex: The Neocortex lies on top of the Limbic System. It deals with cognition in our brain and can influence things down to layer 1, i.e., the Paleocortex. This part of the brain having capability of influencing can also be called as the rational lying brain because it not only helps you lie but it also lies to you sometimes. Tricky, isn't it?


               Now as aforesaid, the Reptilian Complex imparts instincts of survival and that of mating. One more stronger in women and the other more stronger in males. Males, have more of instincts of moving the genes forward and therefore, are more inclined towards the process of reproduction. Whereas, on the other hand females have more of the survival instincts. Evolutionarily, rejection or ostracization from the group is equivalent of extinction at the reptilian level. Therefore, one of the things we're trained or hardwired at the neurological level to sort for is Social Status. Men seek social status to gain it. Whereas, women seek to align with it.

How Does Love Happen?


                Love is a neurologically induced trance. Oxytocin is the primary neurotransmitter that makes love happen. The more oxytocin you can generate in somebody's system, the more trust they'll have for you. It also has the unique ability to amplify neuroplasticity, i.e., the speed at which your nervous system and the cells in your brain rewire themselves (how rapidly you learn and how powerfully those neurons stick together). And the unique capacity of oxytocin is to take all behaviours, all habits, all believes and overwrite them.

               The mating drives come from the Reptile Brain. The part of you that gets attracted is your Reptile, Paleocortex. Once the Paleocortex gets stimulated, it talks to the next level of your brain. After which the mesages go in two different directions:
  1. Into the Limbic System ( emotional brain )
  2. Travels down the Spinal Cord.
As David Snyder has very correctly said, "When the meat gets excited, logic goes out of the window."

How It All Begins.

              Everything your brain sorts for either moves towards pleasure or away from pain. The emotional brain sends the messages up to the  Neocortex. Your Neocortex will then start to generate a story. It will tweak to how you pay attention to your world around you. So, you begin to form a rational (remember how i told you before, that it is the rational liar) that allows you to justify acting on those drives and emotions in the ways:

  1. It is acceptable to you
  1. It is acceptable to the cultural group that you're a part of.

  Each of you or rather each of us have-
  • A Criteria
  • A set of Values
These are neuro-linguistic terms. People cannot go against that criteria and values without experiencing emotional pain.
  

 The Approaching Problem.

Men and women both have problems in approaching but it's very different:

Women:

  • Usually wants the man to come and talk to her.
  • The hesitation in approaching is because she's scared that they might not be able to get rid of him if she doesn't like him much.
  • Women have very advanced social skills and therefore, a lot of social awareness.
  • But, they're subtle in their ways and mostly depend on body language and gestures to give out messages.
  • They do not acknowledge men they do not like. Thus, will find a way physically or metaphorically to remove such men from their environment. 
  • Women tend to get more picky under stress.
Men:
  • Men are usually looking for clues from the women the way they'd give it out if she liked him. That's a flaw.
  • Most of the times when men hesitate is because they need to save their self-esteem. So, women, go easy on them sometimes. They can be feeling vulnerable too at times so do not thrash their self-esteem even if you don't like them. Find more polite ways to exit the conversation.  
  • The more stressed out they get. the more global or vague they become.  

FuN fAcT: Did you know that 60% of of all approaches are made by women. 

Survey Results:

               I have been conducting a survey for the past few days which lead me into asking males and females between the age group of 18 to 32 the following two questions:
  1. What's that one thing that you'd look for in the man/woman you'd date?
  2. What would your perfect date look like? Picturize it in your head and describe with as much details as you can provide.(E.g., the location, the lighting, the weather, the time of the day or an event you want in it etc. etc.
               Well I shouldn't say that the results surprised me a lot but yes one thing did make me a little curious, where 25% of females wanted to visit beaches and sea shores, 98% of males wanted events like walking on the beach, water sports, swimming together, meals on the beach or watching the sunset on the beach on their date. Most of the females, about 90% of them stressed up on there being good communication skills in the man and the quality of accepting them for who they are also reflected in the responses in many ways. Where as, when asked the males, they seemed to be thinking of something way further, they looked for love and focused on qualities that would make their future secured. Where men were looking for care givers and life long love and loyalty, females were looking for acceptance for who they are.

               Where almost every female respondent chose the time of the day being sunset or after sunset, on the other hand, 70% of the males where looking for spending an  entire day together. Starting from morning walks to how they'd fall asleep together. Some even planned on making out and hugs and cuddles but none of such responses were received from the female side. They looked for snacks to munch on, 2 or 3 drinks (the response seen very frequently) and a breezy ambiance. Well most of the females were vague about the location but having given their criteria, they would probably let themselves be taken aback by his choice but dim lighting being a must.

Feel free to ask questions or start debates in the comment section below the content. It would be my pleasure if i could help. Here are some links to my other contents that might be of some use to you in reading and understanding human beings a little more:

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