LET'S TALK ABOUT LOVE
'Love', ah! Something we all love talking about but none of us really
understand what it really makes us feel. Well, you can't completely but we all have people we love the most in our lives. Before we dig deeper into this the wisest thing to do would be to go
through the words spoken by Sadhguru about love.
He says, "Generally, we have made relationships within frameworks that are comfortable and profitable for us. People have physical, psychological, emotional, financial or social needs to fulfill. To fulfill these needs, one of the best ways is to tell people, “I love you.” This so-called “love” has become like a mantra: open sesame. You can get what you want by saying it. There is really no such thing as conditional love and unconditional love: it is just that there are conditions and there is love. When you talk about love, it has to be unconditional. The moment there is a condition, it just amounts to a transaction. Maybe a convenient transaction, maybe a good arrangement – maybe many of you made excellent arrangements in life – but that will not fulfill you; that will not transport you to another dimension. It is just convenient. When you say “love,” it need not necessarily be convenient; most of the time it is not. It takes life. Love is not a great thing to do, because it eats you up.
Love is never between two people. It is what happens within you, and what happens within you need not be enslaved to someone else."
Words so brilliantly said that anybody would say they relate to it. Well, that's because they do relate to it but the confusion only arises when they relate to everything around. We as human beings are complex creatures constantly denying the complexity. We all think we like things simple but in reality we dont. Imagine you follow the same routine for a month, that would be simple but well, that's too monotonous for us and that is why we get weekly breaks from schools, colleges and work. So it's okay to be confused, it's okay to be complex. The same applies for love. It goes through different circumstances. It is laid back sometimes, sometimes tested and sometimes tough.
Love is an emotion which you feel. You can share the feeling of it whether it be joy or sorrow but you can't share the emotion. Hence, love is personal. The things you think of in love will never match that of your partners. Interpretations of love are various and here is another great one:
"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."
- William Shakespeare, Sonnet 116
Here he talks about what is and isn't love and that love is unchanged. He tries to convince the audience to believe that you cannot fall out of love even if you love again.
You can love one, two, three or even five different people, all at the same time. If you've watched 'Professor Marston and the Wonder Women', you'd know I have a point here. Now, there is an issue with how we take love to be. We confuse it badly with a relationship. Relationships of any kind are bound with expectations and the need for those expectations to be satisfied. Where as love is free and most importantly it is selfless.
"Freedom and love go together. Love is not a reaction. If I love you because you love me, that is mere trade, a thing to be bought in the market; it is not love. To love is not to ask anything in return, not even to feel that you are giving something- and it is only such love that can know freedom."
- J. Krishnamurti
That's something I personally believe in. This quote tells us exactly what each one of us needs to hear. The first thing we do when someone says, "I love you" is that we start imagining a perfect relationship with that person and start think of how we would look with the other. Here's what I'm trying to say, it's that you get into a relationship due to love and there is no vice versa to that. There shouldn't be. You don't love because of a relationship. The relationship works itself once the people involved are in love. By relationship I mean every kinds of relationship, between friends between family even between communities, you need to love them all for it to work out.
“Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.” ― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes. This one is from one of my personal favorite books. This book also does talk about a very crucial side of most people which they hide from the world which is sadomasochism. I'll touch upon the topic in one of my upcoming blogs. But not diverting away from the topic, love can only happen if you allow it to happen but it can never happen if you force it to happen.
Everybody has their own perspectives of love and their own ways in it, so the comment section is open for all to share their take on it. My motive is to just share and influence people to think towards a direction less materialistic and to encourage everybody to love. In conclusion I would like to say that love is the best emotion one can feel even if it makes one sad sometimes but it gives more joy when you love selflessly. Love is impartial. It is not racist or sexist or objective but we are. Love is flawless no matter what because it is always what it is.
He says, "Generally, we have made relationships within frameworks that are comfortable and profitable for us. People have physical, psychological, emotional, financial or social needs to fulfill. To fulfill these needs, one of the best ways is to tell people, “I love you.” This so-called “love” has become like a mantra: open sesame. You can get what you want by saying it. There is really no such thing as conditional love and unconditional love: it is just that there are conditions and there is love. When you talk about love, it has to be unconditional. The moment there is a condition, it just amounts to a transaction. Maybe a convenient transaction, maybe a good arrangement – maybe many of you made excellent arrangements in life – but that will not fulfill you; that will not transport you to another dimension. It is just convenient. When you say “love,” it need not necessarily be convenient; most of the time it is not. It takes life. Love is not a great thing to do, because it eats you up.
Love is never between two people. It is what happens within you, and what happens within you need not be enslaved to someone else."
Words so brilliantly said that anybody would say they relate to it. Well, that's because they do relate to it but the confusion only arises when they relate to everything around. We as human beings are complex creatures constantly denying the complexity. We all think we like things simple but in reality we dont. Imagine you follow the same routine for a month, that would be simple but well, that's too monotonous for us and that is why we get weekly breaks from schools, colleges and work. So it's okay to be confused, it's okay to be complex. The same applies for love. It goes through different circumstances. It is laid back sometimes, sometimes tested and sometimes tough.
Love is an emotion which you feel. You can share the feeling of it whether it be joy or sorrow but you can't share the emotion. Hence, love is personal. The things you think of in love will never match that of your partners. Interpretations of love are various and here is another great one:
"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."
- William Shakespeare, Sonnet 116
Here he talks about what is and isn't love and that love is unchanged. He tries to convince the audience to believe that you cannot fall out of love even if you love again.
You can love one, two, three or even five different people, all at the same time. If you've watched 'Professor Marston and the Wonder Women', you'd know I have a point here. Now, there is an issue with how we take love to be. We confuse it badly with a relationship. Relationships of any kind are bound with expectations and the need for those expectations to be satisfied. Where as love is free and most importantly it is selfless.
"Freedom and love go together. Love is not a reaction. If I love you because you love me, that is mere trade, a thing to be bought in the market; it is not love. To love is not to ask anything in return, not even to feel that you are giving something- and it is only such love that can know freedom."
- J. Krishnamurti
That's something I personally believe in. This quote tells us exactly what each one of us needs to hear. The first thing we do when someone says, "I love you" is that we start imagining a perfect relationship with that person and start think of how we would look with the other. Here's what I'm trying to say, it's that you get into a relationship due to love and there is no vice versa to that. There shouldn't be. You don't love because of a relationship. The relationship works itself once the people involved are in love. By relationship I mean every kinds of relationship, between friends between family even between communities, you need to love them all for it to work out.
“Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.” ― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes. This one is from one of my personal favorite books. This book also does talk about a very crucial side of most people which they hide from the world which is sadomasochism. I'll touch upon the topic in one of my upcoming blogs. But not diverting away from the topic, love can only happen if you allow it to happen but it can never happen if you force it to happen.
Everybody has their own perspectives of love and their own ways in it, so the comment section is open for all to share their take on it. My motive is to just share and influence people to think towards a direction less materialistic and to encourage everybody to love. In conclusion I would like to say that love is the best emotion one can feel even if it makes one sad sometimes but it gives more joy when you love selflessly. Love is impartial. It is not racist or sexist or objective but we are. Love is flawless no matter what because it is always what it is.
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